October 2010
18 posts
“Hug a Tall Person Day” is February 11th. I’m currently accepting reservations.
The McDonalds in Central Square has a fountain drink called Strawberry Awareness. Not that I’d know, I wouldn’t go there.
New Life Goal: Become, for even a fleeting moment, half as cool as Lou Reed ever was.
Terrible Arguments in Constitutional Law History: “God put people of different races on different continents so that they don’t interbreed.”
RT @SecondGlass: @SecondGlass Want to win tix to Eat’s pop up restaurant at #WineRiot? RT this by 7PM for a chance to win http://cot.ag/ …
“Haha! That guy just fell in the parking lot,” said the boy who, just hours earlier, got stitches after falling on the way to the bathroom.
Legal Sentences That Sound Dirty: “She enjoyed her time with Testatrix even though he had a partial intestacy.”
Q: “Mr. X, what analogy is the Court trying to draw between these two cases?” A: “Um” Q: “Well said Mr. X, but nonetheless wrong.”
You’re driving with the top down in 40F temp. I guess there’s plenty of room to fit your massive inferiority complex in the car with you.
Years of risky and dangerous physical behavior = 0 stitches; Walking to the bathroom this morning: 7 stitches and a wrist brace. #ToucheFate
The following are true: I don’t eat refined flour or sugar. I just housed an entire package of chocolate chip cookies I got in the mail.
Pandora is rocking my world this morning. (i.e., it’s Hammer go Hammer
MC Hammer yo Hammer and the rest can go and play).
I’ve wielded my VisualBasic sword victoriously! Someone fetch me a tray of the finest muffins and bagels in the land! http://myloc.me/d8pce
“And now we’re going talk about Bowers. Mr. XXX, could you please tell the class what sodomy is.” #livetweetinglawschool
The new DunkinDonuts Wake-Up Wrap: now with Splenda packet sized egg medallion. http://plixi.com/p/49595299
I felt like eating at the Fuddruckers / furniture store couldn’t possibly end well. I was 100% wrong. The elk … http://tmi.me/24Qe9
I just had an epiphany; I will probably never hear a new Ace of Base tune again. A tiny slice of my childhood will forever silently cry.
The public defender said there was “no positive ID” made of his client “besides his handprint.” #publicdefenderscanbesosilly
September 2010
5 posts
Checking out the facilities with food and drink @WorkBar. If you freelance, are just starting out, I urge you to check them out. #meetu
Dear Roomba, My love for you knows no end. You are smart, diligent, radiant and pure. You are what’s been missing in my life. Love, Eben
Why “we” use a microphone to address a 30 person class when “we” aren’t outside a 20 foot circle of each other is a fascinating question.
I often forget buying study aids isn’t enough; I actually have to read them. Instead, I think I’ll invent a book learning osmosis machine.
Central Sqare is the only place where you can get heckled by hookers after tripping over a bum, spilling the coffee of a Nobel laureate.
Four out of four dentists agree that toothpaste is a good idea, regardless of brand.
In looking for car dealerships, I restrict my search to only those with an American flag as large as sails on the Nina, Pinta or Santa Maria
Yogi Bear is mostly naked but wears a collar and a tie. I like his style; it says, “I like to look nice, but I’m also here to party.”
scholastic fibrosis, n. The stiff feeling you get in the back of your neck after long periods of studying.
August 2009
14 posts
I was going to say no… but instead I think I’ll silently rebel by getting some agressive piercings and a facial tattoo.
WARNING: this text has been processed in a facility that also processes nuts.
My Civil Procedure professor is a dead ringer for Richard Dreyfuss. First person to ask him to “show us your opus” wins my respect for life.
It’s not even 8am and I’ve already had to use the phrase “cervical ripening” in a sentence without laughing. I’m in for a long day.
I’ve always been font typeface agnostic but today - possibly because I’m grumpy - I’ve decided I don’t care for serif text.
Paradoxically, I’d feel much more comfortable as an Atheist if there was a little more Catholic guilt sprinkled on top.
In my universe, there us a clear and inversely porportional relationship between me having a napkin and my need for a napkin.
Great Moments in Unintentional Comedy: Sal Paolantonio solemnly asking Ray Lewis if he, “silently cries” for Steve McNabb.
Rock is dead; long live paper & scissors.
I wonder if anyone actually uses fuzzy, colored pipe cleaners as their name indends.
2nd triathons down and I have learned the following: bad at the swim, worse on the bike and I should quit after the bike.
I’m not a very good vegetarian, I just housed a whole box of animal crackers.
My mind is like Absinthe; expensive, overrated and illegal in 37 states.
Just say no to rugs. Persian, especially.
July 2009
8 posts
Dear Ray Parker Jr.,
Bustin’ makes me feel good too.
Best, Eben
As far as I’m concerned, Taco Bell’s “Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap Supreme” doesn’t have enough shit going on.
New rule: Restaurants are allowed to use “Tuscan” as an adjective in describing a dish if they reduce the price 50% & apologize to Italy.
One triathlon down, two to go. Post race comment: fuck you, hills.
Quitting biotech/business/law and have settled on opening a salon. Leading name candidates: Julius Scissors or Hairway to Heaven.
Sometime I’m sure we were meant for each other… Just Like tuna fish and cigarettes
Sure, $16 for a lunch sized portion of mac & cheese seems exorbidant, but I feel good knowing Whole Foods execs can fly private.
Dear Abercrombie, Having your models’ hands down their own pants doesn’t make me want to buy your over-priced jeans.
Best,
Eben
June 2009
3 posts
Did I *need* two pounds of nachos for breakfast? No… but life isn’t about need.